Archive for January, 2010

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Saved By the Bell: Top 10

Sunday, January 31st, 2010

Between the hours of 8 and 9 every weekday morning while mentally fortifying myself for the forty hours of despair that is the American work week, I am in desperate need of a little televised escapism.  Six high school friends. One balding principal. You know of what I speak.

What could be better for easing into the soul-numbing daily grind than a healthy dose of Saved by the Bell, that classic early nineties Saturday morning teen sitcom?  Pretty much any other show, but there’s very little on basic cable TV at 8am EST, and sometimes I’m desperate.

Saved by the Bell was a staple of my youth, from first-run episodes in the second grade through the much-hyped Wedding in Las Vegas mini-series in middle school.   Fifteen years later, nothing has changed in the sunny Californian Bayside High School where Zack Morris rules and the geeks all wear glasses and bow ties.

Saved by the Bell has been running strong in syndication for years with TBS airing four episodes every weekday morning from 7am to 9am (with Fridays reserved for the vastly inferior The College Years).  87 episodes/(4 episodes x 4 days/week) = every 5.5 weeks, the entire series cycles through and begins again.

That’s 9.5 times/year. Add that to the episodes airing weeknights on Nickelodeon’s sister station The N, and that’s a heck of a lotta Zack Morris shenanigans.

I’ve recently entered a phase of Saved by the Bell overload and am trying to cut back, but just because I’m taking a break doesn’t mean it’s not the perfect time for a Top Ten list of the best Saved by the Bell episodes! So here they are: ten shining examples of the series’ outrageous, non-nonsensical plotting, saccharine PG love affairs, cheesy episodic wrap-ups, and ridiculous, often illegal stunts that never warrant more than a week’s worth of detention for these Bayside delinquents.

The Lisa Card – (S.1 Ep.2) In this early episode, Lisa earns a trip to the mall for good grades and then foolishly overcharges her father’s credit card by purchasing some truly heinous late 80s fashions. With Zack’s help, she tries to raise the difference by working as a waitress, selling all of her clothes, and being kissed by nerds. Standout episode gimmicks include the fuchsia-bordered dream sequences and Zack’s expert remote-control rigging of all the lockers at Bayside.

Aloha Slater – (S.1 Ep.6) The Zack-Slater rivalry is never more pronounced than in this episode where Zack tries to convince everyone that Slater has a tropical disease and the only cure is a one-way ticket to Hawaii. With Screech’s help, Zack stages sneezing, itching, and fits of memory lapse as proof of Slater’s symptoms, but the tables are turned when Kelly decides to leave with Slater and Slater’s father pulls out a grenade. Hula at the Max, anyone?

The Prom – (S.2 Ep.1) Kelly agrees to go with Zack to the first of many Bayside proms, but when her father loses his job, she is unable to pay for the dance. In one of his more romantic gestures, Zack arranges a private dance for him and Kelly, just outside of the school’s gymnasium where the official prom is taking place. This charming episode almost makes up for season three’s prom where Kelly “Jail Bait” Kapowski dumps Zack for her skeezy college-aged boss Jeff. Almost.

Miss Bayside – (S.2 Ep.8) Nine years before She’s All That, Zack bets Slater that he can take anyone and make ‘them’ winner of the Miss. Bayside beauty pageant, and his contestant ends up being more of a challenge than a girl with glasses, a ponytail, and paint-covered overalls. Can Zack help nerdy Screech win the pageant over the three most popular girls in school and the school’s hunky jock?  (Answer: Yes! Zack Morris can do anything!)  Screech’s robot sidekick Kevin makes an appearance and Belding re-writes pageant lyrics on the fly.

Jessie’s Song – (S.2 Ep.9) In the better of two “Afternoon Specials” on the dangers of drugs, Jessie gets addicted to caffeine pills while trying to manage her time studying and singing as part of the gang’s new girl group, Hot Sundae. One of Saved by the Bell’s most-quoted lines happens during Jessie’s breakdown where she sings/cries “I’m so excited! I’m so excited! I’m so … scared!” Another episode highlight is Hot Sundae’s workout music video which you can enjoy courtesy of Youtube.

Breaking Up is Hard to Undo – (S.2. Ep.17) A Chorus Line and Dancing with the Stars fans will be excited to learn that this is the episode where Mario Lopez strips down to a ballet leotard and dances his heart out, fifteen years before doing the same on Broadway.  After Kelly/Zack and Jessie/Slater temporarily break up, the guys try bonding with Mr. Belding who is on the outs with his own wife. When Zack and Slater start suffering hallucinations of their exes, they realize it’s time to make up, even if apologizing means going to the ballet.

All in the Mall – (S.3 Ep.16) While waiting at the mall to get U2 concert tickets, Zack finds $5,000 in a bag. Rather than reporting the find, the gang decides to camp at the mall overnight so they can use the money to buy tons of extra tickets to scalp later.  However, their plans are thwarted when two thuggish men end up on their trail and the money goes missing.  Zany mall antics ensue from trashing a shoe store to dressing up as bridal shop mannequins.

Mystery Weekend – (S.3 Ep.26) Lisa has won a free Mystery Weekend adventure at a creepy old mansion and she invites the gang along. What begins as a harmless game of intrigue and murder quickly turns sour when a woman’s diamond necklace is stolen and Lisa goes missing.  All the evidence points to Zack as the culprit, but with Sherlock Screech’s help, Zack is determined to prove his innocence and win the cash prize.

Screech’s Spaghetti Sauce – (S.4 Ep.3) At Bayside High, it’s apparently a cinch for students to make a commercial, appropriate school supplies, start their own factory line, and manufacture bottles of Screech’s Secret Spaghetti Sauce to sell for profit.  Screech’s sauce becomes wildly popular, drawing the attention of gold-digging, sex pot Robin and the Betty Crocker company which accuses Screech of having stolen one of their recipes.

Day of Detention – (S.4 Ep.8) Zack is stuck in detention yet again, except this time his punishment is keeping him from winning a radio call-in show’s trip to Hawaii.  Desperate to get to the Max to answer the trivia questions that will seal the deal, Zack bribes the gang to help him escape Belding’s watchful eye, ultimately landing everyone in detention along with him.  Screech teaches Belding how to groom a bonzai tree and the long-suffering school principal finally triumphs.

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In Defense of Food

Friday, January 29th, 2010

Journalist and brilliant non-fiction author Michael Pollan has written several books about the culture of food, specifically the industrialization of food and the “Western Diet” (In Defense of Food), the reciprocal relationship between people and domesticated plants (Botany of Desire), and the philosophical, political, economic, and ethical implications of the foods that we consume (The Omnivore’s Dilemma). In Defense and Omnivore have been on my booklist for two years, with Botany on the way in 2011.

I am pleased to say that I have finally read In Defense of Food: An Eater’s Manifesto, and it was wonderful.

In this aptly named manifesto, Pollan offers this simple advice on the first page of his introduction (and on the cover as well): “EAT FOOD. NOT TOO MUCH. MOSTLY PLANTS.” Pollan doesn’t try to instruct readers in the specifics of what to eat (more of this, less of this), but instead he provides a framework for readers to understand how the science of nutritionism and the industrialization of foods have changed the way people eat. Particularly vulnerable to these changes in food culture are Americans and other consumers of a “Western Diet” comprised principally of corn, soy, and meat products that have been stripped of their original vitamins and minerals and fortified with the nutrients food science has deemed acceptable.

I’m the kind of person who tries to eat “right” but who fails spectacularly when you compare me to the average health-conscious New Yorker who shops at Whole Foods and avoids fast food like the plague. I try to watch my calorie intake and thrive mainly on Lean Cuisines and 100 calorie packs, but I eat very few fruits, vegetables, and whole foods that aren’t flash frozen and easily microwavable.

Before reading Pollan’s book, I didn’t put that much thought into the nutritional quality of what I consumed other than making efforts to keep my calorie intake under 1600/day. Like most people, I understood that fruits and vegetables are “good” for me, but not necessarily why getting vitamins from produce was more important than getting vitamins from a pill or fortified breakfast cereal.  I trusted that if the label on the box said it’s heart healthy, it must be true.

In three chapters (The Age of Nutritionism | The Western Diet and the Diseases of Civilization | Getting Over Nutritionism), Pollan details how food consumption has been reduced to a science that no longer looks at the food as a complex whole (and part of a larger, even more complex meal, diet, and culture), but which only looks at the identifiable parts – the nutrients that can be isolated, named, and deemed either “good” or “bad” for you.

Pollan highlights the flaws in this nutrition breakdown, using research findings to show how often food scientists have been wrong in the past (claiming that margarine high in trans fat was healthier than butter, and the evolution of baby formula and its consistently substandard health benefits when compared to human breast milk).  With tons of research to back it up, Pollan theorizes that the culture of food is simply too complex for health scientists to ever get it right in imitation. A healthy diet consisting of whole foods will (most likely) always be more “nutritious” than processed foods that have been fortified only with the nutrients that scientists think are important.

In Defense of Food’s even more disturbing revelation is the fact that due to industrialization, even the “healthy” foods aren’t as healthy as they used to be.

USDA figures show a decline in the nutrient content of the forty-three crops it has tracked since the 1950s. In one recent analysis, vitamin C declined by 20 percent, iron by 15 percent, riboflavin by 38 percent, calcium by 16 percent. (…) To put this in more concrete terms, you now have to eat three apples to get the same amount of iron as you would have gotten from a single 1940 apple, and you’d have to eat several more slices of bread to get your recommended daily allowance of zinc than you would have a century ago.

(So, eat your fruits and vegetables kids! If you can.  Even if they won’t make you as healthy as your grandparents were.)

I would highly recommend Pollan’s book as it is a fascinating, laymen-friendly look at the state of our current food culture and the considerations we eaters should take to protect the health of our bodies and our earth. While the book does pass judgment on the food science that has failed us, Pollan never stoops to making the undernourished reader feel like the guilty party. We are the innocent victims of our time, but when we have the knowledge we need and are given a choice in how we eat, we should try to make the right one.

It’s hard to say for sure, but I think it’s likely that this book will hugely impact the way I approach eating and the food that I buy. I’m taking baby steps now, but sooner or later, those steps are going to add up to a healthier me.

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Things that make me happy

Wednesday, January 27th, 2010

#262

Pistachios.

Two Happy Things posts in a row could be a sign of lazy blogging (and it is), or it could be a testament to how much I love pistachios (also true).

As a member of Costco, the largest warehouse club chain in the United States, I enjoy buying food stuffs in bulk twice a month.  Last week I bought dry roasted pistachios… 4 LBS of dry roasted pistachios!

They are amazing!

And they will last forever!

Well, they will last two weeks.  That’s good enough for me.

Edit: 1/28/10

I realized that with all my talk about how delicious pistachios are, I forgot to highlight their virtues as a healthy snack.  This omission is now amended!

I present you with the facts about pistachios, straight from the people who harvest, research, and love them. Biased? No, there’s no such thing as a pistachio bias. There is only truth…and love.

California Sungold Pistachio Facts:
http://www.californiasungold.com/pistachio_facts.php

Eating Pistachios Could Cut Lung Cancer Risk:
http://goodnews.ws/2009/12/12/eating-pistachios-could-cut-lung-cancer-risk/

Pistachio Health: The Hearty Super Food
http://www.pistachiohealth.com/consumer

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Things that make me happy

Tuesday, January 26th, 2010

#100

Valderi365.com post #100!

I began writing for Valderi365.com on September 10th, 2009, 138 days ago. That would put me just a bit off my goal of 1 post per day… I blame November! And the bitter December that followed! Also, Canada!

According to Matthew Inman’s Blog Verbosity Test, my blog posts are on average 83% shorter than other bloggers (heh heh), so I can’t claim much substance, but I like to think y’all still enjoy reading them.

:)

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