The 82nd Annual Academy Awards is on tonight… you know, that awards show where glamorous celebs get guzzied up in dazzling fashions, smile for the cameras, and then congratulate each other on a job well done in an industry where $75 million is spent on Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel which grosses almost a half-billion worldwide and ends up on the Academy’s short-list for Oscar nominee consideration.

The last time I cared (remotely/at all) about the Oscar stakes was in 2004 when The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King swept all awards in the 11 categories in which it was nominated.  Then I got a little older and a little wiser, and I realized that like most self-important ceremonies in which the overpaid are celebrated for doing their f*cking jobs, it’s all about the politics and the hype.  There are dozens of great films overlooked every year because the filmmakers can’t afford to spend millions in advertising and awards campaigns, so already the decks are stacked to favor the mega-blockbusters and the indie darlings that were lucky enough to get noticed in the first place.

When Avatar wins the Golden Globe for Best Drama and is in position to sweep the Oscars too, you know the system is broken.  The Academy can nominate as many films as it wants for best picture (deserving or no), and I still won’t watch their show.

Things I’d rather watch tonight (which may be terrible but are still less soul-sucking):